Say “No, No” to these 6 things if you really loves your kid……..

By Ruth Lau

When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. However, just a few years ago, I realized that loving a child means developing a strong foundation of relationship by spending time and get involved in their daily lives by impacting their life with a good role model and equipped them with the self life surviving skill when I am not around anymore.

A lot of parent are busy earning money and give the best to their children and don't want the children to fall, so instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path before their experience. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. Adversity is a part of life, only by facing it then our children can build life-coping skills and they'll need know how to deal with it down the road. So while it seems like we're doing them a favour, we're really stunting their growth.

Why am I sharing this information? Because I think it's relevant in this age of helicopter parenting. While I find it’s great that today's parents are more invested in their children's lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. What we may justify as "good parenting" can hurt our children later. Unless we're mindful of that, it's easy to handicap them by making their lives too easy. I believe that we should

"Prepare our child for the road, not the road for our child."

The 6 common “No, No” that parent practice it subconsciously:-

No, No #6: Worshiping our children.

Many of us live in child-centered communities. We're raising our kids in child-centered homes. Our children love this, of course, because our lives revolve around them. And for the most part we don't mind either, because their happiness is our happiness. It thrills us to do for them, buy for them, and shower them with love and attention.

But I think it's important to keep in mind that our children were made to be loved, not worshiped. So when we treat them like the center of the universe, we create a false idol, turning a good into an ultimate. Rather than kid-centered homes, we should strive for God-centered homes. Our children will still be loved, only in a better way, one that promotes selflessness over selfishness.

No, No #5: Engaging in competitive parenting.

Every parent has a competitive streak. We fear our children will get left behind. We fear that if we don't jump into the craziness, and pull out every stop to help them excel early, they'll be stuck in mediocrity the rest of their life. So we send them to tuition and enrichment classes so they can excel.

But we forget that every child is different and each child can live up the best version of them. Every child learned and excel best when their early life foundation is strong in love and acceptance by the parent and confidence in themselves.

No, No #4: Missing the wonder of childhood.

Raising small children can be hard, monotonous work. At times it's so physically and emotionally exhausting we wish they were older to make our life easier. We're also kind of curious who they'll grow up to be. What will be their passion? Will their God-given gifts be clear? As parents we hope so, for knowing which strengths to nurture enables us to point them in the right direction.

But as we project into the future, wondering if our child's knack for art will make them a Picasso, we may forget to soak up the splendor in front of us: bedtime stories, tummy tickles, picnic, bare footed running around, playing in the rain. We may forget to let our children be little and enjoy the one childhood they're given.

The pressures on kids start way too early. If we really want our kids to have a leg up, we need to protect them from these pressures. We need to let them have fun and grow at their own pace so 1) they can explore their interests without fear of failure and 2) they don't get burned out.

Childhood is a time for free play and discovery. When we rush children through it, we rob them of an innocent age they'll never pass through again.

No, No #3: Raising the child we want, not the child we have.

As parents we harbor dreams for our children. They start when we get pregnant, before the gender's even known. Secretly we hope they'll be like us, only smarter and more talented. We want to be their mentors, putting our life experiences to good use.

But the irony of parenting is that children turn our moulds upside down. They come out wired in ways we never anticipated. Our job is to figure out their inherent, God-ordained bent and train them in that direction. Forcing our dreams on them won't work. Only when we see them for who they are can we impact their life powerfully.

No, No #2: Forgetting our actions speak louder than words.

Sometimes when my kids ask a question, they'll say, "Please answer in one sentence." They know me well, for I'm always trying to squeeze life lessons into teachable moments. I want to fill them with wisdom, but what I forget is how my example overshadows my words.

How I handle rejection and adversity... how I treat friends and strangers... whether I nag or build up their father... they notice these things. And the way I respond gives them permission to act the same.

If I want my children to be wonderful, I need to aim for wonderful, too. I need to be the person I hope they'll be.

No, No #1: Underestimating CHARACTER.

If there's one thing I hope to get right in my children, it's their CORE. Character, moral, an inner compass... these things lay the foundation for a happy, healthy future. They matter more than any report card or trophy ever will.

None of us can force character on our kids, if we want them to build character, confidence, strength and resilience, we need to let them face adversity and experience the pride that follows when they come out stronger on the other side.

It's hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain.

So parent, enjoy building a strong foundation in your toddler while you can.. Spend time sit down and have fun together with them by singing and interacting with them and not let the influence of other or gadget replace your relationship with your child…

Remember Be There.

"To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today."